In continuation of our discussions on “KEYS
TO A STRONG AND HAPPY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE,” we are going to consider some other important keys today.
9. THE CASE
OF BARRENNESS (IMPOTENCY), AND THE SEX OF THE BABY. There are two major points to address here: a) What of if for
any reason you and your spouse could not have a baby? b) What of if you have
only females? Look at the promises of God to you first:
In
Exodus 23:26 God said, “No one shall suffer miscarriage
or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.
In
Deuteronomy 7:14 God said, “You shall be blessed above all
people; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your
livestock.”
You need to understand
that you got married because you love each other and not necessarily because you
want to have some children. If having children is your purpose of marrying,
then you have failed already. This is why it is very necessary to settle the
issue of barrenness and the sex of the baby during courtship.
A
number of senseless and ignorant men go to marry another woman so as to get a
male child because his wife has been giving birth to females all the way.
Probably his colleagues have told him that with the girls only his linage will
soon be terminated.
Listen
carefully; if there is anyone to be blamed, it is you the man, because it is
what you have put in that determines the sex of the baby.
The
lady always has XX chromosomes. The man has XY chromosomes. If the man puts in
Y-chromosomes during a lawful carnal relationship with the wife, a male child
will be born. But if he puts in an X-chromosome, a female child will be born.
The
lady has only the X-chromosomes to offer, but the man has the choice of
offering the X- or Y-chromosome. Even at that, the man cannot determine which
chromosome to sow. It is God that determines the lot.
You
therefore, need to trust God together for a miracle to become fruitful, and to
have the baby with the very sex you desire.
If
it ever happens that you are impotent or barren, you need to trust God for a
miracle. He is more than able. He is able to change your story and give you a
child no matter what. He gave Hannah a child named Samuel. He gave Elizabeth a
child named John the Baptist.
Jesus
said, “With God nothing shall be impossible”
(Lk. 1:37), and “To him that believes, all things
are possible” (Mk. 9:23).
10.
DISCIPLINING OF CHILDREN:
You must do this together. This you can achieve using:
(a)
The rod
of correction:
Proverbs
22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should
go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs
22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart
of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that
loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
Proverbs
23:14 says, “Thou shalt beat him with the rod,
and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”
(b)
Words
– the Word of God:
Proverbs
29:1, 15 says, “He, that is being often reproved
hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy… 15
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame.”
Always
let a child know why you are punishing him. You must not delay the punishment
else the child will misunderstand you. Prompt punishment will stop that child
from engaging in further wickedness.
Ecclesiastes
8:11 says, “Because sentence against an evil work is
not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully
set in them to do evil.”
Ladies,
take counsel: “You should not go contrary to what your husband has said
concerning your child. You should never make the child feel that the father
hates him/her. Rather you should enforce whatever steps your husband has taken
concerning your child. You both should join hands together to bring up the
child in the way he should go and when he grows up he will not depart from it.”
11. YOU SHOULD SACRIFICE
FOR EACH OTHER: Romans 15:1-2 says, “We
then are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please
ourselves. 2 Let each one of us please his neighbour for his good, leading to
edification.”
As long as it
is possible, we should not do things just to please ourselves. We should be
considerate of the fears of those who think these things are wrong.
If you do what
helps your spouse even at your own expense, you will build him/her up in the
Lord. For even Christ didn’t do things to please Himself.
Mr. Husband,
you need to understand that your ratio to your wife is 11:1. Therefore, you
need to dwell with her the emotional, according to knowledge, as a weaker
vessel.
1 Peter 3:7
says, “Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them
according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto weaker, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayer be not hindered.”
First, the
husband should recognize that the wife will operate on four planes (the
spiritual, the emotional, the intellectual, and the physical). He should also
understand that he is to recognize which plane she is on and encourage her to
move to the spiritual plane if she is not already there.
Secondly, realize
that since the woman has the tendency to move on the emotional plane,
she can easily be led astray by the enemy. So you should always encourage her
to move to the spiritual plane because if she walks in the Spirit she will not
fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 5:16).
12. CONSCIOUSLY
WORK ON YOUR LOOKS: You must ensure that you remain
attractive to each other. That you are married does not now give you the
license to look anyhow. Young lady, you have to do everything within your power
to keep looking the way you were shinning the day your husband proposed to you.
Don’t assume that because you have caught him that he cannot escape again since
there is nothing like divorce. Yes, I agree that there is no divorce, but don’t
you know that you can just be roommates without any interactions as husband and
wife? Young lady, the day you stop attracting your husband, just know that that
marriage is as good as dead.
Quit eating
everything you can lay your hands on. Be disciplined and watch what you eat.
Avoid chocolates, cakes and cokes. Cut down on your carbohydrate intake. Avoid
the things that will convert your precious figure eight to figure 49.
Dress the way
you want to be addressed. Dress smartly and wear cheerful looks. Don’t
specialize in tying rappers. There are smarter wears in the market. Don’t put a
dress on because you see others outside putting such dresses on. Find out what
your spouse likes and put them on for him. You are not trying to please anyone
else, but he.
Maintain your
hair. Don’t let dandruffs and lies be there. Don’t let it smell. Don’t tie your
hair 24 hours a day. Just cover your head during church service, and quickly
remove the covering after the service so that your hair may receive some fresh
air. Remove all those wigs that make you look like an Egyptian Mummy. Be
natural, and not artificial.
Don’t be dirty
inside. Let your under wears be always clean. I suggest that you put on
preferably sparkling white under wears. Shave your armpits and apply correct
antiperspirant. Your nails should receive some attention. God has already
blessed you with good nails. Just maintain it. You do not need artificial
fingernails.
Don’t allow
your face to be dry. Don’t allow your lips to crack. Apply wet lips.
Young man, do
not allow yourself to develop a protruded belly. It will make it difficult for
you to effectively embrace your wife.
13. A
CONSTANT DESIRE TO ENHANCE EACH OTHER’S VALUE: What picture
of your spouse do you paint to the outsiders? How do you treat your spouse
outside? How do you talk to your spouse before your siblings or the public?
However you present her to the public is how the public will value her. If you
insult her by talking down on her in the public, that is how the public will
regard her. So you should treat each other with respect both in the private and
in public.
Proverbs
31:30-31 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty
does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 31
Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”
Do
you want to enjoy your marriage? Do you want a marriage full of peace and joy? Then
give an undivided attention to knowing God’s perfect will for your life even in
the area of marriage. The application of this major key will open every door to
a marriage that will glorify God.
Watch out for the next
edition of Good News
from the Pulpit!
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