KEYS TO A STRONG AND HAPPY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE! (4)

In continuation of our discussions on “KEYS TO A STRONG AND HAPPY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE,” we are going to consider some other important keys today.

4. YOU SHOULD HAVE A UNITED PURPOSE TO SERVE THE LORD: The man of the house should take an unshakable stand for the Lord. He should influence the entire family to serve the Lord. This is not possible if you have an unbeliever for a spouse. It is also not possible if you have not taken an irrevocable stand for the Lord.

For instance, a man like Joshua took a firm stand to serve the Lord with his family.

In Joshua 24:14-15 the Bible says, “Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve Him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD. 15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Abraham is another example. In Genesis 18:19 God said, “For I know Abraham, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him.”

5. DECEPTION: You must be transparently honest to each other. In Zechariah 8:16-17 God said, “These are the things that ye shall do; Speak ye every man the truth to his neighbour; execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates: 17 And let none of you imagine evil in your hearts against his neighbour; and love no false oath: for all these are things that I hate.”

Speak the truth to your spouse. Your spouse is the closest neighbour. Speak the truth to your spouse in love.

Ephesians 4:15 says, “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into Him IN ALL THINGS, which is the head, even Christ.”

The truth will always make your spouse free. In John 8:32 Jesus said, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Realize that neither you nor your spouse can be able to do anything against the truth. 2 Corinthians 13:8 says, “For we can do nothing against the truth, but for the truth.”

For instance, the Bible says that Adam and Eve were both naked before each other (Gen. 2:25). This is not just speaking of nudity, but of being transparently honest to each other. They hid nothing from each other. Don’t be a hypocrite. Eliminate pretense from your life. Just be real and not artificial.

I know of a medical doctor who did not tell the spouse the truth. This doctor has only one testes but did not tell the wife while they were courting.

Now know this: Beginning at puberty, sperm is produced in the testes (testicles), a pair of glands located in a pouch called the scrotum. From each testis, sperm migrates to a long, coiled tube known as the epididymis, where they are stored for one to three weeks until they mature.

After they eventually got married, the wife discovered that the man had only one testes. He could not put the woman in a family way, so problem began. After staying together for years without a child, the lady was ready for them to go and adopt a child but the man refused. Rather this doctor who was once a Full Gospel Businessmen Fellowship president, instructed the wife to go outside for other men to impregnate her.

He promised that he would accept the child and that no one will know about it. The wife being a very serious child of God refused to obey that satanic instruction. Shortly after, this doctor paid two women outside to go and get impregnated by any man. Thereafter, they should come and he would marry the one that is pregnant, and that he would accept the child as his own, and also pretend as if he was the one responsible for the pregnancy. One of them conceived and he quickly collected her to be his wife. Can you see how he deceived this sister in the Lord?

In another instance a lady aborted a 7 months old baby before she got married to her spouse. And when the man asked her what type of surgery she had, the woman told him that it was appendix operation. Till today they have no child. What a deception!

6. FAITHFULNESS: The truth is that without faithfulness there will be no real trust or intimacy in your relationship with your spouse.

In Hebrews 13:4 the Bible says, “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

Give honour to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

Proverbs 6:32-33 says, “Whoever commits adultery with a woman lack understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, and his reproach will not be wiped away. ”

Carnal relationship with anyone else that is not your spouse leads to soul-tie and demonic infestations in your marriage.

Romans 6:23 says that the wages of sin is death. There is a payday for your sin. The currency for payment is called death.

Do not ever get carnally involved with any person that is not your spouse. Rather in Proverbs 5:15-17 God said, “Drink water from your own well – share your love only with your lawful spouse. 16 Why spill the water of your spring in public, having sex with just anyone? 17 You should reserve it for yourselves.  …Don’t share it with strangers.”

7. EXTENDED FAMILY: You must be independent of parents, siblings and in-laws. You must realize that you are married to your spouse and not to his or her family.

In Genesis 2:24 God said, “Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” 

God did not ask you to abandon your mother and father, and then cleave to her cousins, her mother, her father, her brothers and sisters. He instructed the man to cleave [be glued] to his wife. Period!  Friend, do not allow anyone to destroy your relationship with your spouse.

This agrees with what God asked Abram to do in Genesis 12:1-3. Here is the point: If you don’t separate yourself from your people, you can never cleave to your spouse in the way that God intends you to, so as to make your marriage successful.

8. Understand each other’s differences and celebrate them. You are you! Your spouse is your spouse. Individual differences do exist between men and women. These differences by no wise make a woman inferior to a man. Such differences include:

a) A man has about 40% muscle. A woman has about 20% muscle.

b) A man has 11 ribs. A woman is made from just one rib.

c) A man has more RBCs than a woman. This will certainly carry more oxygen to the cells for tissue respiration. This implies that a man will have more ATP produced in his cells than in the cells of a woman. No wonder a man is physically stronger than a woman. This is why a woman gets tired faster than the man if both of them are working together. This is why the Bible calls a woman “the weaker vessel.”

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7).

So Mr Husband, understand that your wife is not lazy. It is just that she does not have the kind of energy you have.

d) At about the age of 20 years a man begins to deteriorate at the rate of about 2% in a year, while a woman deteriorates at the rate of 10% in a year.

e) A woman has XX chromosomes, but a man has XY chromosomes. Besides, you may be a melancholy while your spouse is a sanguine. You need to understand these differences and celebrate them instead of complaining about them (Phil. 2:14) because when you complain you call pain.

Romans 15:5-7 says, “We may know that these things make no difference, but we cannot just go ahead and do them to please ourselves. We must be considerate of the doubts and fears of those who think these things are wrong. 2 We should please others. If we do what helps them, we will build them up in the Lord. 3 For even Christ didn’t please Himself. As the Scriptures say, “Those who insult you are also insulting Me.”

Do you want a marriage full of peace and joy? Then give an undivided attention to knowing God’s perfect will for your life even in the area of marriage. The application of this major keys will open every door to a marriage that will glorify God.

Watch out for the next edition of Good News from the Pulpit!

• Your friend: I. I. Madubunyi (Senior Pastor)                                 04.11. 2018