As I am talking with you
now, so many homes are not experiencing “the peace of God.”
This is because
they are not doing things according to God’s laid down principles.
The major problem in the
families is usually “Who is in charge here?”
Submission is the
key to harmony (peace) in any relationship. Submission is a key element in the
smooth functioning of any business, government, or family. God ordained
submission in relationships in order to prevent power tussle and chaos.
So today, we are going to consider the issue of SUBMISSION in
the Christian family. The Bible says, “Submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God…” (Eph. 5:21-33).
Something is very clear from the above Scripture: This submission is
not unilateral but mutual.
What does the word “mutual” mean? This word means ‘reciprocal.’ Example
is having a “mutual respect” for one another. For instance, in a
marriage relationship, both the husband and wife should submit to each other.
Here is the truth: Except both of you have the fear of God, you
can never submit yourself to one another.
What is the fear of God? The fear of the LORD is to say no to
everything that is contrary to the Word of God. The fear of the Lord is to hate
evil (Prov. 8:31).
The truth is that except both of you fully submit yourselves to God,
you will never be able to submit yourselves to one another.
Here is the point: If you really have the fear of the Lord, you will
talk to your ‘spouse’ with respect the way you talk to Christ.
What then is submission? Submission to God
is obedience to God, doing exactly whatsoever He commands. For instance,
the Lord told Abram, “Leave your country, your relatives, and your
father’s house, and go to the land that I will show you.” . . . 4 So Abram
departed as the Lord had instructed him” (Gen. 12:1, 4).
Again, in Genesis 22 God instructed Abraham to sacrifice Isaac to Him
and Abraham did exactly as the Lord commanded.
We can now see that
true submission, is motivated by a genuine desire to obey our heavenly Father.
Submission
is the act of submitting; usually surrendering power to another. “To submit” means to yield to another’s wish
or opinion. Submission
is not slavery because God created us to be interdependent.
Biblical submission will not be understood by
people who refuse to submit to God. Although
some people have distorted Paul’s teaching on submission by giving unlimited
authority to husbands, we cannot get around it - Paul told wives to submit to
their husbands.
Submission is equal
to “sub–mission.” Sub-marine means get under the water. In a similar manner,
“submission” means that the woman should get under the mission of her husband
and support it.
What of when the woman is the one that has the call? In
this case, the man should get under the mission of his wife and support it.
Submission
does not mean inferiority, because God created all people in His image and
after His own likeness, and all have equal value (Gen. 1:26-27).
For instance, in an
atom we have electrons, protons and neutrons. None is more important than the
other. Similarly, in a house we
have husband and wife and none is more important than the other.
Both of them have come together as one in an inseparable covenant
called marriage, forfeited their individual wills, to give rise to one will called
the will of God.
Jesus sets an
example. In order for God the Father to accomplish His divine purpose of
providing redemption for sinful man, it was necessary for Christ to become
sub-ordinate to Almighty God (Phil. 2:5-11). However Christ is not in any way
inferior to or less important than God the Father.
Now, Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives get under your husband’s
mission just as you get under the LORD’s mission.”
Woman, this is the truth: if you don’t submit to God
by strictly obeying His Word, you won’t be able to obey your husband either.
For the husband is the head of the wife (1 Cor. 11:3).
That is to say that God holds the man responsible because He has made him the
leader.
There is a difference between submission and agreement. Let’s
say your Pastor asks you to do something a certain way, and you think it is a
great idea. You are in agreement.
However, let’s say he asked you to do something a certain way, and you
don’t think it is a good idea. In order words, if you were to be in-charge, you
would never have done it that way. This is where submission comes in. At this point you’ve got a decision to make. God’s way of doing it would be to honour
your leader by doing it the way he wants you to do it, without complaining.
This is exactly how we submit. Remember the Lord would never permit you to
submit to anything contrary to His Word.
Biblical submission is based on
valuing one another as equals. That
is to say that God calls for submission among equals – both submitting to one
another.
Realize
that God did not make the man superior; He simply made a way for the man and
woman to work together in harmony.
For Instance: Jesus Christ, although
equal with God the Father, submitted to Him in order to carry out the Father’s
plan for salvation. Likewise, although equal to man under God, the wife should
submit to her husband for the sake of their marriage and family.
Submission
between equals is submission by choice, not by force, and it is entirely
mutual. We serve God in these relationships by willingly submitting to others
in the church, to our spouses, and to our government leaders.
Biblical submission is
choosing to obey and glorify God in your relationships. God created lines of authority in order for His created world to
function smoothly. Although there must be lines of authority,
even in marriage, there should not be lines of superiority.
God created men and women
with unique and complementary characteristics. That is to say that God
created men and women to complement one another. No gender is better
than the other.
Biblical submission is a mark of equality
rather than inequality. Christ, the
Lion of the Tribe of Judah, submitted His will to the Father, and we honour
Christ by following His example.
When you submit to
God, you become more willing to obey His command to submit to others
accordingly, that is, to subordinate your rights to theirs.
In a marriage relationship, both husband and
wife are called to submit to one another. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband’s leadership in
Christ (Eph. 5:23-24). For the husband, it means putting aside his own
interests in order to care for his wife (Eph. 5:25).
This is true: Submission
is rarely a problem in homes where both partners have a strong relationship
with Christ and where each person is concerned about the happiness of the
other.
Biblical submission is based on love. Why did Paul tell wives to submit and
husbands to love? Perhaps Christian women, newly freed in Christ, found
submission difficult; perhaps Christian men, used to the Roman custom of giving
unlimited power to the head of the family, were not used to treating their
wives with respect and love.
According to the
Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family (1 Cor. 11:3), and his wife
should acknowledge his leadership.
A wife should recognize the authority of her husband
over her. If she is not yet married then she is submissive to authority like
her parents. Sisters, you must understand that there cannot be two captains in
a ship. It is either you are married or not. If you make up your mind to get
married, then you must submit to your husband. If your choice of husband is
according to God’s plan and purpose for your life, you’ll never be hurt when
you submit to his authority.
But real spiritual leadership involves service. Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their
feet, so the husband is to serve his wife.
A wise and Christ-honouring husband will not
take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honouring wife
will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes
disunity and friction in marriage.
God has a
standard for the family government. According
to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should
acknowledge his leadership.
He is the captain
of the ship called “home.” 1 Corinthians 11:3 the Scriptures
say, “But I want you to know that the head of
every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is
God.’’
Christ
is the head of the church and the church is the Body of Christ. Similarly, if
the husband is the head of the wife, the wife is the body of the husband. The
head makes decision and provides protection. The body upholds and supports the
head.
The neck is
part of the body. If the neck does not turn, the eyes on the head cannot see
correctly. The eyes can only see things in one direction. So unless the neck
turns in another direction, his eyes will not see what is in that particular
direction.
That
is why when you give your wife an idea, she’ll give you a plan. If you give her
a plan, she’ll give you a home. If you carry your wife along, she will help you
to see things from another point of view. She will help
you to broaden your vision.
Sisters must
understand that there cannot be two captains in a ship. It is either you are
married or not. If you make up your mind to get married, then you must submit
to your husband. If your choice of husband is according to God’s instructions,
you’ll never be hurt when you submit to his authority.
In
Genesis 3:16 God said to the woman, “Your desire
shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
Young
lady, I respect your opinion, but it is your husband that has the final say in
that matter in the family. God has placed him over you. In Genesis 3, it was
the woman Eve that the devil tempted and polluted, not the man. Rather it was
the woman that tempted the man. Men, you must take your place in your family,
and before you do what your wife is saying, you must consult with God.
In Genesis 2:22, God brought Eve
to Adam. This shows that Adam is the boss. It was even Adam that named his wife
Eve (Gen 3:20). The secret to a man’s heart is respect.
Do you want to enjoy your marriage? Do you want a
marriage full of peace and joy? Then give an undivided attention to knowing
God’s perfect will for your life even in the area of marriage. The application
of this major key will open every door to a marriage that will glorify God.
Watch out for the next
edition of Good News
from the Pulpit!
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