Sunday, October 28, 2018

KEYS TO A STRONG AND HAPPY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE (3)!


As I am talking with you now, so many homes are not experiencing “the peace of God.” 

This is because they are not doing things according to God’s laid down principles. The major problem in the families is usually “Who is in charge here?”

Submission is the key to harmony (peace) in any relationship. Submission is a key element in the smooth functioning of any business, government, or family. God ordained submission in relationships in order to prevent power tussle and chaos.

So today, we are going to consider the issue of SUBMISSION in the Christian family. The Bible says,Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God…” (Eph. 5:21-33).

Something is very clear from the above Scripture: This submission is not unilateral but mutual.

What does the word “mutual” mean? This word means ‘reciprocal.’ Example is having a “mutual respect” for one another. For instance, in a marriage relationship, both the husband and wife should submit to each other.  


Here is the truth: Except both of you have the fear of God, you can never submit yourself to one another.

What is the fear of God? The fear of the LORD is to say no to everything that is contrary to the Word of God. The fear of the Lord is to hate evil (Prov. 8:31).

The truth is that except both of you fully submit yourselves to God, you will never be able to submit yourselves to one another.

Here is the point: If you really have the fear of the Lord, you will talk to your ‘spouse’ with respect the way you talk to Christ.

What then is submission? Submission to God is obedience to God, doing exactly whatsoever He commands. For instance, the Lord told Abram,Leave your country, your relatives, and your father’s house, and go to the land that I will show you.” . . . 4 So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed him(Gen. 12:1, 4).  

Again, in Genesis 22 God instructed Abraham to sacrifice Isaac to Him and Abraham did exactly as the Lord commanded.

We can now see that true submission, is motivated by a genuine desire to obey our heavenly Father.

Submission is the act of submitting; usually surrendering power to another. “To submit” means to yield to another’s wish or opinion. Submission is not slavery because God created us to be interdependent.

Biblical submission will not be understood by people who refuse to submit to God. Although some people have distorted Paul’s teaching on submission by giving unlimited authority to husbands, we cannot get around it - Paul told wives to submit to their husbands.

Submission is equal to “sub–mission.” Sub-marine means get under the water. In a similar manner, “submission” means that the woman should get under the mission of her husband and support it.

What of when the woman is the one that has the call? In this case, the man should get under the mission of his wife and support it.

Submission does not mean inferiority, because God created all people in His image and after His own likeness, and all have equal value (Gen. 1:26-27).

For instance, in an atom we have electrons, protons and neutrons. None is more important than the other. Similarly, in a house we have husband and wife and none is more important than the other.

Both of them have come together as one in an inseparable covenant called marriage, forfeited their individual wills, to give rise to one will called the will of God.

Jesus sets an example. In order for God the Father to accomplish His divine purpose of providing redemption for sinful man, it was necessary for Christ to become sub-ordinate to Almighty God (Phil. 2:5-11). However Christ is not in any way inferior to or less important than God the Father.

Now, Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives get under your husband’s mission just as you get under the LORD’s mission.”

Woman, this is the truth: if you don’t submit to God by strictly obeying His Word, you won’t be able to obey your husband either.

For the husband is the head of the wife (1 Cor. 11:3). That is to say that God holds the man responsible because He has made him the leader.

There is a difference between submission and agreement. Let’s say your Pastor asks you to do something a certain way, and you think it is a great idea. You are in agreement.

However, let’s say he asked you to do something a certain way, and you don’t think it is a good idea. In order words, if you were to be in-charge, you would never have done it that way. This is where submission comes in. At this point you’ve got a decision to make. God’s way of doing it would be to honour your leader by doing it the way he wants you to do it, without complaining. This is exactly how we submit. Remember the Lord would never permit you to submit to anything contrary to His Word.

Biblical submission is based on valuing one another as equals. That is to say that God calls for submission among equals – both submitting to one another.

Realize that God did not make the man superior; He simply made a way for the man and woman to work together in harmony.

For Instance: Jesus Christ, although equal with God the Father, submitted to Him in order to carry out the Father’s plan for salvation. Likewise, although equal to man under God, the wife should submit to her husband for the sake of their marriage and family.

Submission between equals is submission by choice, not by force, and it is entirely mutual. We serve God in these relationships by willingly submitting to others in the church, to our spouses, and to our government leaders.

Biblical submission is choosing to obey and glorify God in your relationships. God created lines of authority in order for His created world to function smoothly. Although there must be lines of authority, even in marriage, there should not be lines of superiority.

God created men and women with unique and complementary characteristics. That is to say that God created men and women to complement one another. No gender is better than the other.

Biblical submission is a mark of equality rather than inequality. Christ, the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, submitted His will to the Father, and we honour Christ by following His example.

When you submit to God, you become more willing to obey His command to submit to others accordingly, that is, to subordinate your rights to theirs.

In a marriage relationship, both husband and wife are called to submit to one another. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband’s leadership in Christ (Eph. 5:23-24). For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife (Eph. 5:25).

This is true: Submission is rarely a problem in homes where both partners have a strong relationship with Christ and where each person is concerned about the happiness of the other.  

Biblical submission is based on love. Why did Paul tell wives to submit and husbands to love? Perhaps Christian women, newly freed in Christ, found submission difficult; perhaps Christian men, used to the Roman custom of giving unlimited power to the head of the family, were not used to treating their wives with respect and love.

According to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family (1 Cor. 11:3), and his wife should acknowledge his leadership.

A wife should recognize the authority of her husband over her. If she is not yet married then she is submissive to authority like her parents. Sisters, you must understand that there cannot be two captains in a ship. It is either you are married or not. If you make up your mind to get married, then you must submit to your husband. If your choice of husband is according to God’s plan and purpose for your life, you’ll never be hurt when you submit to his authority.

But real spiritual leadership involves service. Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their feet, so the husband is to serve his wife.

A wise and Christ-honouring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honouring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes disunity and friction in marriage.

God has a standard for the family government. According to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership.

He is the captain of the ship called “home.” 1 Corinthians 11:3 the Scriptures say, “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.’’

Christ is the head of the church and the church is the Body of Christ. Similarly, if the husband is the head of the wife, the wife is the body of the husband. The head makes decision and provides protection. The body upholds and supports the head.

The neck is part of the body. If the neck does not turn, the eyes on the head cannot see correctly. The eyes can only see things in one direction. So unless the neck turns in another direction, his eyes will not see what is in that particular direction.

That is why when you give your wife an idea, she’ll give you a plan. If you give her a plan, she’ll give you a home. If you carry your wife along, she will help you to see things from another point of view. She will help you to broaden your vision.

Sisters must understand that there cannot be two captains in a ship. It is either you are married or not. If you make up your mind to get married, then you must submit to your husband. If your choice of husband is according to God’s instructions, you’ll never be hurt when you submit to his authority.

In Genesis 3:16 God said to the woman, “Your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.

Young lady, I respect your opinion, but it is your husband that has the final say in that matter in the family. God has placed him over you. In Genesis 3, it was the woman Eve that the devil tempted and polluted, not the man. Rather it was the woman that tempted the man. Men, you must take your place in your family, and before you do what your wife is saying, you must consult with God.

In Genesis 2:22, God brought Eve to Adam. This shows that Adam is the boss. It was even Adam that named his wife Eve (Gen 3:20). The secret to a man’s heart is respect.

Do you want to enjoy your marriage? Do you want a marriage full of peace and joy? Then give an undivided attention to knowing God’s perfect will for your life even in the area of marriage. The application of this major key will open every door to a marriage that will glorify God.

Watch out for the next edition of Good News from the Pulpit!

Your friend: I. I. Madubunyi (Senior Pastor)                     28.11. 2018

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