KEYS TO A STRONG AND HAPPY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE! (1)

Today, I am speaking on “KEYS TO A STRONG AND HAPPY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE!”  

Now that you are married, how is it? Are you enjoying it or are you enduring it? Are you happy you are married or are you wishing that you never ever entered into it? Jesus wants you to succeed in all aspects of your life even in the area of your marriage (Jn. 10:10). It is your responsibility to make your marriage work.

The only way to make your marriage work is to strictly follow God’s instructions.

In Proverbs 18:22 the Bible says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing (treasure), and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

The moment you find a wife God gives you favour. Favour plus a good thing equals to a breakthrough in life.

In Genesis 2:24 God said, “Therefore shall a man leave [come out from] his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

What is marriage? Marriage is God’s divine and sacred institution designed to form a permanent (indissolvable, inseparable) union between one man and one woman as husband and wife.

Marriage is a union between two imperfect people to produce a perfect union.

Marriage is the death of two wills and the birth of one will.

Matthew 19:3-6 says, “The Pharisees also came unto Him, tempting Him, and saying unto Him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And He [Jesus] answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave (his) father and mother, and SHALL CLEAVE to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Marriage is not a contract. It is a covenant. In a contract, each party has a role to play – “you do your part, and I do my part.” Covenant says, “It is 100% your part, and it is 100% my part to make this relationship succeed.”

Today, so many marriages are sick even unto death because of lack of knowledge and understanding (Isa. 5:13; Hos. 4:6). I know of a couple who were milk and honey during their courtship years and also in their early years of marriage, but not long after, they did not desire to see each other not to talk of staying together.

In a particular instance, the man who used to introduce his fiancée as “the queen of his heart” soon after the marriage told God that instead of sleeping with that lady any longer in the same room not to talk of the same bed, let Him kill him.

Why, I demanded? And he told me that the lady had an offensive body odour. We thank God for His mercies because this man was nearly crushed at the Onitsha Toll-Gate by a vehicle shortly after his confession.

For some, after the honeymoon night, the honey travels to the moon and they wish to separate or divorce. Such people did not marry out of love and commitment. They married out of lust.

We should understand that it is not in the plan of God that you should have a marriage full of crisis.

In Jeremiah 29:11 God said, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you (1) a future and (2) a hope (an expected end).”

Proverbs 10:22 says, “The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich and He addeth no sorrow with it.”

The blessing of the Lord makes a person rich, and He adds no sorrow with it. A good wife is a blessing from the Lord and this blessing will make you rich. That is why the Scriptures say that he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the LORD (Prov. 18:22).

However situations may arise in your marriage whereby you disagree. You must realize that in every relationship misunderstandings, offenses and mistakes are inevitable. But how you handle a matter determines the matter. If you’ve never been hurt, you can never be helped by God.

However, experience brings about exposure. Challenges compel changes. God allows you in a mess so as to make you a message. God allows you to be battered so as to make you a blessing. Those apparent setbacks in your marriage is actually a set-up for your set forth!

Let’s read John 2: 1-11 together. In John 2:3 the Bible says that when their wine finished, they went to Jesus. Wine here may signify the joy in their marriage. This joy may run out (finish).

At such a time of disagreement, you get so dissatisfied with each other. What do you do? Who do you go to? To your mother? No! To your friends? No! You go to Jesus.

Acts 4:12 says, “Neither is there SALVATION in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we MUST be saved.”

In Isaiah 43:11 Jesus said, “I, even I, am the LORD; and beside Me there is no Saviour.”

In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus said, “Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”

Friend, going to Jesus means going to the Word of God because Jesus is the Word of God wearing human flesh (Jn. 1:1-14).

It is therefore, very important for you to make your marriage work at all cost. Your marriage will work if you work it. Since marriage is of God (Gen. 2:24, Prov. 18:22), it cannot fail because there is no failure in God.

To insure the success of your marriage, you must go back to the manufacturer’s manual – the BIBLE. There are definite principles in the BIBLE you need to apply in order to effectively achieve this purpose. These blueprints include:

1. Your faith (2 Cor. 4:14-16; Amos 3:3). You can’t work together except you have the same mindset.

2. Avoid pre-marital sex. This will destroy the trust you have for each other.

3. A united purpose to serve the Lord.

4. Finances. This is the trouble shooter. Your finances must be put in a common account and managed together.

5. Deception. Be transparently honest to each other (Gen. 2:25).

6. Faithfulness (Prov. 6:32-33). You are not allowed to flex around. Stick to one another.

7. Handle the extended family with wisdom.

8. Understand each other’s differences and celebrating them.

9. Apply the formulae for a successful marriage – STEPP.

·        A healthy sex life (Gen. 18:9-12; 1 Cor. 7). Enjoy the pleasure that God has given to you together.

• Talk together [Communication – Gen. 2:16-17, 3:2-3]. Communication is very important for understanding to be in your relationship.
• Eat together. As you eat together, you are having fellowship with one another.
• Pray together (Matt. 18:19). A family that prays together stays together.
• Play together. This will make you to get used to one another.

10. The case of the sex of the baby, barrenness or impotency (Deut. 7:14; Ex 23:26).

11. Compatibility (The case of sickle cell or Rhesus factor).

12. Disciplining of your children: (a) Rod of correction (Prov. 22:6; 22:15; 13:24, 23:14); (b) Words (Prov. 29:1, 15).

13. Mutual submission to one another (Eph. 5:21-33; Gen. 3:16).

14. Commitment (engagement or obligation) (Matt. 19:4-6; Gen. 2:24).

15. You should be tenderhearted toward one another (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:12-13).

16. Do not forget to walk in love (1 Cor. 13:1-13). You must walk in love.

17. Sacrifice (Rom. 15:1-2). You must be willing to make sacrifices for each other. Selfishness is not allowed in marriage.

18. Consciously work on your looks. 

19. A constant desire to build each other up, to enhance each other’s value (Prov. 31:30-31).

20. Your Firstfruit (Ps. 11:3).

Do you want to enjoy your marriage? Do you want a marriage full of peace and joy? Then give an undivided attention to knowing God’s perfect will for your life even in the area of marriage. The application of this major key will open every door to a marriage that will glorify God.

Watch out for the next edition of Good News from the Pulpit!

• Your friend: I. I. Madubunyi (Senior Pastor)                     14.10. 2018