Today, so many homes are not experiencing the peace of God because they are not doing things God’s way.
Perhaps more than at any other time in history, women today need a clear understanding of how they should relate to their husbands. The Scriptures are clear about the unique responsibilities God assigns to a wife.
A wife’s responsibilities to the husband in a Christian family can be properly understood only in the context of a loving, servant leadership by her husband.
So today, we are going to consider “The duties of a wife to her husband in the Christian family.”
1. The Christian wife is to be subject to her husband. Wife, God is asking you to submit to the leadership of your own husband.
Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body. 24 Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
Titus 2:4 says, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.”
Just mention the word “submission,” and many women immediately become angry and even hostile.
Why? This is because some husbands and wives actually believe submission infers that women are inferior to men in some way. Some women think that if they submit to the authority of their husbands, they will lose their identity and become non-persons.
Others fear (some with good reason) that submission to the authority of their husband will lead to being used or abused.
Another misconception is that submission means blind obedience on the part of the woman. She can give no input to her husband, question nothing, and only stay obediently barefooted and pregnant in the kitchen.
What does God have in mind? Here’s a key passage from Scripture (Eph 5:22-30). This Scripture makes it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband’s sensitive and loving leadership. Therefore, as you voluntarily submit to your own husband, you are completing him. You are helping him fulfill his responsibilities, and you are helping him become the man, the husband, and the leader God intended him to be. Realize that your husband is still a man that is subject to error.
But when you entrust your life to the Father (1 Pet. 2:23), it’s much easier to be the wife of an imperfect man, particularly when you have disagreements. Also realize that marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. The husband and the wife are not to be jointly in the position of headship. The only exception would be if he asks you to violet clear scriptural teachings.
Acts 5:29 says, “Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.”
The Lord commands husbands to love their wives. In Ephesians 5:25 God said, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.”
Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself.”
Here is the point: If the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church, she will have no difficulty with submitting to his authority.
When challenges arise (Jn. 2), they should be carefully discussed together, not in high angry tones but in AGAPE tones.
At this point, the husband and the wife should leave their personal opinions aside, and go to the Word of God to check out whatsoever God has said concerning the matter at stake.
And whatsoever God said in His Word should be the final verdict, and that is what should be done in that circumstance.
Mr. husband, yes you are the leader of the home, but if your subjection is contrary to what God said in His Word concerning the situation, then forget your opinion and do what God has said.
2. Be a helper to your husband. While all of us are called to be helpers to others, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives.
Genesis 2:18 tells us that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone, and that He decided to make a “helper suitable for him. God has designed wives to help their husbands become all that God intends them to be.
3. The wife is to admire and respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence (respect) her husband.”
What does it mean to respect? Respect is recognizing someone else’s worth, honoring them for what they have done and for who they are.
In a very real sense, it is a gift you confer on someone, a gift of valuing them highly. When you respect your husband you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honour him, prefer him, and esteem him. It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values.
Husbands have many needs. Some of the primary needs most men have include: 1) Self-confidence in his personhood as a man, 2) To be listened to, 3) Companionship, and 4) To be needed.
Meeting to these needs is what respecting your husband is all about. A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him, appreciating him, and cheering him on as he goes out into the world every day.
Romans 12:10 says, “Take delight in honouring each other.”
Philippians 2:3 says, “Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.”
1 Peter 2:17 says, “Love (AGAPE) your Christian brothers and sisters.”
1 Thessalonians 5:12 says, “Honour those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work.”
Romans 13:7 says, “Give to everyone what you owe them.” Owe nobody anything else but love (KJV).
1 Corinthians 8:1 says, “It is love (AGAPE) that really builds up the church” (NLT).
The wife should respect her husband. This seems to be true even for the wife who has an unsaved husband (1 Pet. 3:1).Question? What kind of life are you living before your husband? Does he see in you true Christian living? Are you cheerful, loving, loyal, and obedient?
This is true: Some wives drive their husbands away from Christ because they don’t respect them. Instead of being cheerful and obedient, they are noted for preaching and nagging. Nothing breaks the spirit of a man more quickly than a nagging wife.
5. Love your husband. Titus 2:4 calls for wives “…to love their husbands.”
A good description of the kind of love your husband needs is “unconditional acceptance.” In other words, accept your husband just as he is - an imperfect person. Love also means being committed to a mutually fulfilling relationship.
6. The Christian wife is to be a keeper at home. A wife should know how to keep the home, she should know how to cook good food. She should know how to show hospitality to your guests. She should know how to economize. She should learn how to conserve money.
Conclusion: Therefore, wife, if you want to enjoy a peaceful home, this is how you should treat your husband.
Watch out for the next edition of Good news from the Pulpit!
Your friend: I. I. MADUBUNYI (Senior Pastor)
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